You need to give your brain time to get rid of all those extra receptors so it can return to some semblance of normal functioning.This means no talking to your ex, no casual hanging out as ‘friends’ (whatever!So in the interest of helping out all of those suffering in silence now or in the future, I’m compiling a list of interventions that many have found useful in handling such matters of the heart.Let’s start with the non-negotiable one first: 1) Break contact completely.), no “I hate you but I miss you” text messages, and – for 2-3 weeks at the very minimum.At this stage you’re basically a recovering crack addict, just as vulnerable and dangerous, and it’s going to take you that long before you can re-enter polite society without being a weeping, blathering mess. After my very first breakup in college, I remember becoming a running fiend.So what you want to do is to re-evoke the memories – specifically, the recurring ones that are giving you the most trouble.
You have total permission to bring that great feeling to the present moment, as you look back on that breakup as an ancient and mildly entertaining event. (Also, you are alive, and most humans who have ever lived are not. Turns out that this low-fidelity feature of memory is useful to exploit, especially when it comes to breakups and other psychological discomfort.Maybe you even have kids, and one of them is sitting on your lap. She called you names, then showed up at your doorstep in tears and had make-up sex, then disappeared again and stopped returning your phone calls, re-ripping out your heart, putting it in a blender and feeding it to miniature Schnauzers. But in the cosmic order of things, with the Syrian government massacring innocent kids, thousands stranded in refugee camps in Darfur, South African women being systematically raped, and millions living in slums in Mumbai, you’re actually doing pretty well.Then recall that breakup way back when which felt like the end of the world, but just makes for a funny story now. Maybe watching this video of motivational speaker Nick Vujicic who still finds ways to smile every day in spite of having no arms or legs will put your all-encompassing but ultimately minor misery into its proper context.Have monkeys swooping through the air and throwing rotten bananas at you. Fill the room with foam that smells like bubble gum, pumpkin pie, or cow pie.Having his head come out of a hippo’s butt while he speaks in a Donald Duck voice will make it very difficult to take the ex seriously.